The Ex Libris FAQ
(in no particular order.)
If your question isn't answered here, please ask shop staff.
Location/Hours
Q. What are your hours?
A. See the hours page.
Q. Are you open during finals week?
A. Generally we maintain our regular hours until Thursday of finals week, when we close at 4:00 p.m. and stay closed for interim. See the hours page for more info.
Q. What about interims and summer?
A. If we're open at all, it's generally weekdays from morning-early afternoon. See the hours page for more information.
Q. Wait a second...it's 11:28 and the doors are already shut!
A. The Official Ex Libris Timepiece is our clock above the register, which often does NOT match the other clocks in the library.
Q. Will you ever be open longer hours? Around the clock?
A. Probably not, since we don't think we could generate enough sales to break even during those times. If you think we're wrong, tell us.
Q. Are you open on Saturday?
A. No. We used to be open, but realized we were losing money.
Q. How do I get to Ex Libris?
A. Go outside the library (not outside the building) and down the stairs. See the directions page for more information.
Q. Why can't I get to your shop from inside the Reg?
A. This was a policy decision during the most recent remodeling of the A-Level. (See our history page.)
Q. Can I use your back door to get into the Reg?
A. No, unless you work at the MacLab.
Q. What about those wooden doors at the back of the canteen? How come those won't let me in?
A. The double wooden doors used to be an entrance to the canteen many years ago. Now they serve as then entrance to the A-level after hours. When the library is open the wooden doors are locked. Don't pull them open--it won't work.
Products
Q. Did you get new coffee?
A. eX Libris proudly serves Metropolis Coffee, direct from the fabled shop on Chicago's North Side.
Q. Do you guys carry [X]?
A. Probably--but see the product list for complete details. Note that we are constantly experimenting with new products, so the list is probably incomplete/outdated.
Q. Waah! My favorite candy bar isn't on the list!
A. You can suggest a product by emailing the General Manager, or leaving a note wth the cashier. Note that we are not here to fulfill your every wish, so we may not be able to stock your favorite product.
Q. Where do the bagels and pastries come from?
A. Clyde's Delicious Donuts. The cookies are also from Clyde's, while the brownies come from Foodism.
Q. Do you ever give out free food?
A. If we have leftover bagels and pastries we will generally put them out after closing. (Entrees and other perishable items are reclaimed by our vendors.) However, we don't always have leftover stuff, and we don't always put it out. Ideally we'd have no leftovers.
Q. Why are you sometimes completely out of meals by 5pm, and other nights the cooler is overflowing with product?
A. We have standing orders with our vendors, and both they and we do not want to have excess meals at the end of the day. We do adjust our order based on how well things are selling, and sometimes we can get certain vendors to do "emergency" runs in the late afternoon, but generally once the cooler is empty, that's it for the day. Also, sometimes we have to refuse a vendor's delivery because their products aren't compliant with the health code (entrees stored in coolers have to arrive below a certain temperature).
Q. My favorite sandwich/entree is gone! What happened?
A. If we are consistently out of your favorite entree, please tell the cashier. We can sometimes work with vendors to alter our quantites of stuff. However, product selection is ultimately up to our vendors, and there are some things they just can't sell due to health code regulations.
Q. Do you have milk? What kinds? Soy milk?
A. We carry skim milk (in the gallon jugs) and half-and-half (in the little creamers). We also SELL 2%, skim, and chocolate milk. We do not have soy "milk."
Q. Does this have meat in it?
A. Yes.
Q. What, exactly, is the "medium" size?
A. Ex Libris sells 2 sizes of coffee/tea: 12 oz. and 16 oz. The medium is 12 oz. (It's called "medium" because we used to sell an 8 oz. "small" size, until we realized nobody drinks only 8 oz. of coffee.)
Q. Why are you sometimes out of cups/coffee/lids/etc.?
A. eX libris, like other hyper-efficient companies, strives to achieve "just-in-time" supplying. (Our tiny stockroom also has something to do with this.) Sometimes demand flucuates wildly, sometimes our orders get mucked up, and since most of our vendors only deliver once per week, it takes a while to put things right. We apologize.
Q. What happened to the "big" cookies?
A. They left, after we realized that we were losing money on them. (We now carry "medium" cookies from the bakery.)
Q. Do you have any chopsticks?
A. No, sorry.
Q. What condiments do you carry?
A. See the condiment section of the product list.
Q. There's no more spoons/forks/knives/napkins/etc. on the counter.
A. Don't panic: your friendly cashier will be happy to restock the counter items, after they finish ringing people up at the register.
Q. Can I use the microwave to heat my own food?
A. Sure, if you observe the Microwave Laws:
- Customers reheating eX Libris products have priority.
- Do not put fish, popcorn, or metal/foil in the microwaves.
- Cover your food so it doesn't splatter--we really don't enjoy cleaning up your mess.
- Finally, it'd be nice if you bought something once in a while, so we can make money to buy new microwaves when they break because people keep putting metal in them. Sigh.
Q. Do you still sell Ex Libris Bucks?
A. You bet. The cashiers will be happy to convert your dollars into Ex Libris Bucks.
Q. Can I still buy the Ex Libris gloves/artwork/misc. articles of clothing?
A. Alas, Lauren and Katy (the ex Libris seamstress and clothiers) have graduated and departed the shop.
Prices and Money
Q. How much is a pita?
A. 25 cents.
Q. Is (hot) water free?
A. So far it's still gratis.
Q. That's all?!? (How come stuff is so cheap?)
A. Because our managers are just that good.
Q. So who's making out like a bandit with the Ex Libris profits?
A. Ex Libris is a division of ORCSA, so any profit goes back to the Reynolds Club (i.e., where your student activity money winds up).
Q. Where does the tip money go?
A. Cashiers can take their own tips, but many donate them to the eX Libris Reading Fund.
Q. What's the deal with the occasionally-seen "bonus sandwich"? Is there something wrong with it?
A. "the physical proof of the peculiarities of a certain manager's mind," according to the staff. No, there's nothing wrong with it.
Q. Can you give change? Can you break a $20/$50/$100?
A. We can usually break a $20. We can't break a $50 or $100 on a regular basis. Ex Libris gives change with purchase.
Q. Do you accept checks or credit cards?
A. Nope. We will take only U.S. legal tender, Ex Libris bucks, or souls. (See the next question...)
Q. I heard Ex Libris once accepted immortal souls in lieu of cash.
A. We still do, although most cashiers will simply stare at you blankly if you offer yours. At one point we had a nice collection of souls (mostly from the GSB), but we lost them during a spring cleaning.
Q. Do you "flex"?
A. Only when we are working our second jobs as shelvers.
Outside the Shop
Q. Can I bring my Ex Libris purchase into the library?
A. The library permits certain types of beverages (generally in covered containers). Ergo, most of your purchases must be consumed outside the gates. The entry control staff upstairs is pretty nice, but they will confiscate contraband food and drink.
Q. The canteen is really messy.
A. The canteen is always messy, but if it disturbs you call the Facilities Services Order Desk at 5-3800.
Q. Waah! The vending machines in the canteen stole my money!
A. We feel your pain. The vending machines regularly fail to dispense product. However, they are the province of ARA, so you need to talk to them about a refund. The circulation desk upstairs can hook you up with ARA's information.
Q. Do you have a restroom?
A. Nope. Go upstairs to the first floor and into the library.
Q. Are there computers/power outlets/network jacks in the canteen?
A. There are no computers in the canteen. If you have a laptop, you'll find power outlets on some of the walls. There are also Ethernet jacks, but they don't work as far as we know. However, wireless networking is available.
Q. Are you in charge of the bulletin boards or what's on the canteen walls?
A. The library is in charge of the canteen walls, although we've been known to take stuff off the walls when the clutter gets excessive.
Q. How come the walls of the canteen are colored?
A. Although eX Libris isn't responsible for the canteen, occasionally we have a burst of collective energy and repaint the walls. (So far we've done a light purple and a darker blue. What's next?)
Service and Atmosphere
Q. How come there's no one at the counter?
A. Generally because the lone cashier is in the back making coffee. They'll be out in a minute.
Q. Why is it always so hot/cold in your shop?
A. We wish we knew. But the complete absence of air ducts in the shop might be a clue...
Q. What's playing?
A. The soap opera "As Ex Libris Turns," starring the staff...oh, you meant the music. Each cashier has their own favorites: we're usually happy to tell you the song and artist.
Q. Do you take music requests?
A. Music requests will be reviewed by the music subject specialist for artistic merit, relationship to the existing ex Libris music collection, and popularity amongst the staff.
Q. Can you turn the music down?
A. If you ask nicely, and we agree that it's excessive. However, keep in mind that Ex Libris (and the canteen) are not "quiet spaces:" you have the rest of the Reg (and all of Crerar) for that.
Q. How do you decide what goes on the chalkboard?
A. by a complicated formula involving inspiration, seniority, laziness, and what movie is currently playing.
Q. What was the "Question of the Day?"
A. Sean was our master of the Question of the Day. Especially good ones are posted around the shop. Now that he has moved on, we aren't sure who will take up the torch.
Q. What's all the stuff on the walls?
A. Most of them are self-explanatory, such as our health license. The non-self-explanatory material leads us to...
Pictures, Posters, and other Things
Q. Who is Captain Gingersnaps?
A. The Biggest Cat West of the Mississippi, a one-time part of the Izil family in Washington. (See Terin's bio for more details.)
Q. Why is the shop obsessed with Christopher Walken?
A. As IMDB notes, he "has a reputation for playing mentally unbalanced characters," which endeared him to the shop during the years of robert and Kirk. Walken's defining role (in the eyes of Ex Libris) was Gabriel in "The Prophecy." ("Mental unbalance" also explains the photos of Jack Nicholson and the one-time poster of the Sopranos.)
Q. I don't understand the Praxia and Dave cartoon.
A. Well...you kinda had to be there. Let's say that Praxia and Dave regularly had conversations of this nature when they were cashiers.
Personnel and Patrons
Q. Who works at Ex Libris?
A. See the staff pages.
Q. That's all? It seems like there's always a lot more people around.
A. The Ex Libris community comprises many people, not all of whom are actually on the payroll.
Q. I love your shop and want to work at Ex Libris.
A. Check out our employment form. We'll be in touch.
Q. Is Sue there?
A. Alas, Sue departed for better pastures (outside of Hyde Park). We miss her.
Q. Is X working today?
A. No. We all avoid "working" as much as possible.
Q. Does that girl/guy come in here often?
A. Of course. Everybody comes to Ex Libris!
Q. Do you have secret names for regular customers? Do I have a secret name?
A. Yes, but if we told you it wouldn't be a secret. (If you're really interested, read the Magazine article for a taste of our naming conventions.)
Q. How can I be a "friend" of eX Libris?
A. First, patronize our shop regularly. If you want a mention on the web page, talk to your friendly cashier, and have a photo handy.
Other Stuff
Q. What's in the back room?
A. Cases of beverages and other products, a coffeemaker, two sinks, another cooler for stocks of milk and other dairy products, and lots of other stuff. There's barely room to walk.
Q. What's behind the secret door marked Library Staff Only?
A. The Staff Lounge for Library staff. It's not terribly exciting, trust us.
Q. Is Ex Libris a movie? A soap opera?
A. The institutional memory isn't really long enough for a movie, but the social dynamics around the shop are definitely of soap opera quality. There is some disagreement about when episodes begin and end, however.
Q. Are you guys run by the library? Are you in cooperation with other campus coffee shops?
A. We're not run by the U of C Library (see the question about profits), but we are completely dependent on the Reg's physical plant, so it's a strange passive-aggressive relationship. ORCSA also oversees the other student-run coffee shops in the Reynolds Club, Cobb, and Crerar.
Q. Does anyone actually win your contests, like the date raffle?
A. Yes: winners are drawn for each of our fundraising contests. (However, Ex Libris is not responsibile for dates actually taking place.)
Q. I have a suggestion/observation/complaint not addressed here.
A. Great--let us know all about it by emailing the General Manager or leaving a note in-person.
Q. Wait, didn't you have an online comment form? That was pretty convenient.
A. The comment form was proving more convenient for spammers than actual commenters, so it went away.